i hate miranda july.

fuckyeahmirandajuly:

I HATE MIRANDA JULY BECAUSE SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I HATE. I hate her stupid twee-ass writing that doesn’t make any sense. It’s like bitch started reading e.e. cummings, and was like ‘lemme write the short story of this shit right quick, only let me take all the heart…

Oh poor thing. To have so much hatred inside for something that brings so much happiness must hurt a lot. I had to re-blog this nonsense because I feel such pity for this person and that had to go out of their way to create a Tumblr. Their argument lacked any cohesion and any critical debate, which would have at least been interesting for us to engage in. Btw OP, like Michelangelo said, “Criticize by creating.” 

Edit: Oh and in case you are trying to be “funny” in the awesome Peter Griffin “What Grinds My Gears” kinda way, I missed that completely.

LOL.

Anonymous asked: i hate you both cunty cuntz

Hey, Michael Cera, I fucking hate you. I know you’ve been playing your 14 year old self for the better part of the last decade, but look. The awkward man-boy thing was cute for like a second. I mean, who didn’t love Arrested Development? But I have come to the realization that you actually ARE George Michael Bluth. I had faith until about Juno, Michael Cera. “Maybe this movie will be different. Maybe he has some range.” I mean, Clark and Michael was the jam. But all you do is let me down. Mumbling around in your American Apparel hoodie. If you were a Jonah Hill type bro, playing yourself wouldn’t be an issue because you’d be all cute and amazing. Also, fat people are always funny. But you’re you, unfortunately. An insufferable lil twerp. You are at the top of my murder list (I don’t have a murder list, and the thought of actually hurting someone makes me physically ill. But you’re still NUMBER ONE, motherfucker).

I want you to take a cold, hard look at your oldass self still playing the same annoying kid. I guess you gotta hustle for your paper when you’re the white Steven Urkel.  You are aging, bro. You are not Emmanuel Lewis (in bad taste? Fuck it). And Jack Nicholson you certainly ain’t.

But your face is just so punchable. I’ll give you that. All dough-y and potato-y and shit. Like my fist would leave a sweet-ass imprint. And you look like a crier. I don’t think I could beat anyone up, but I bet I could beat you up, Michael Cera, you bitch-ass bitch.

AND YOU’RE CANADIAN. Not even gonna touch that right now.

Anonymous asked: Is everybody from Portland hopeless? Project Runway tells me yes, and here is more evidence.

Yes.

I HATE MIRANDA JULY BECAUSE SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I HATE. I hate her stupid twee-ass writing that doesn’t make any sense. It’s like bitch started reading e.e. cummings, and was like ‘lemme write the short story of this shit right quick, only let me take all the heart and beauty out it, so all you have left is INSUFFERABLE PRECIOUS NONSENSE.’ And that is a lot of insufferable precious nonsense. I hate Miranda July because she turned every girl with low self esteem into a ‘vintage’ wearing, cupcake making, picnic having, bicycle riding empty vessel for some main character bro to project himself onto. Remember when girls with low self esteem were just sluts? Man, those were the days.

AND I HATE HER FUCKING MOVIE. It’s like the sort of movie I would have made at 15, confusing ‘annoying’ and ‘boring’ for ‘indie’ and ‘artsy’, back when those words didn’t make me cringe. It was like, Scary Movie 7, but for nerds who like David Foster Wallace. Indie Flick 3 (or 4 or 5 or whatever). It was a parody of itself without even trying to be. Maybe that makes it super meta or something, but it was just super shitty. AND SHE WON AWARDS FOR IT. Did we watch the same movie? And shit spawned all sorts of nastiness. 500 Days of Summer rests on your shoulders, Miranda July. That whole Zooey Deschanel shit (I will get to that later), man. Fuck you Miranda July. Fuck Portland. Fuck all y’all precious-ass bitches.